Luke Is Vader!

SW7

You heard it here first.  After careful analysis of the latest trailer for Star Wars: The Force Awakens, I am convinced that Luke Skywalker becomes Vader, or a Vader – like figure on the The Dark Side of the Force. Submitted for your approval:

  • In this new trailer, Han, Leia, and Chewie appear, but Luke isn’t there. Or is he? Why would you not show Mark Hamill?
  • The shadowy figure in the black mask says to the Darth Vader skull / mask, “I will finish what you started.” Who better to finish Vader’s work than his son?
  • Legend has it that George Lucas wanted Luke turn to the Dark Side at the end of Return of the Jedi, but that idea was nixed for a more kid-fiendly ending.
  • Star Wars is all about parallel storylines. In the trailer, we see the former Storm Trooper becoming a Rebel, and perhaps a Jedi. To balance this, how fantastic would it be to see the hero of this epic go bad?!?
Luke?
Luke?

Special thanks to Star Wars Fanboys Anthony Owen, Chris Adams, Ian Wheal, and Wynn Corliss for validating my theory!

Watch the new trailer here:

Media Trends: Animated Christmas Specials

The animated holiday specials of the 60s and 70s had death, terrifying situations, and narration by actors so old no kid had ever heard of them.

In Christmas cartoons created in the past few years, you will not find any of the above tragedy and anxiety-inducing melodrama. For the past few weeks, I have been studying the Christmas specials of three popular current kids’ series (and by studying, I mean a constant viewing every evening with my daughter):

• Nick’s Diego Saves Christmas

• PBS’s Super Why and ‘Twas The Night Before Christmas

• Disney’s Little Einsteins and The Christmas Wish

In these recent shows, I found no character’s mother dying, Misfit Toys, evil Burgermeisters, scary wizards, or killer magicians. All you find in the above three is positive messages, interactivity, learning, and good animation (well, not so much in Diego).

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Now let’s talk about the best Christmas Cartoons of the pre-PC media era, filled with oddities and freaks:

#7 Frosty The Snowman

Nothing merrier than a cartoon where our star snowman melts into a pool of water and dies.  Merry Christmas, kids! Spoiler: He comes back to life in the end. 

#6 Nestor, The Long-Eared Christmas Donkey

I’m only including my wife’s all-time fave to keep peace at home this holiday season. It does have some catchy tunes by country-folkie Roger Miller and, yep, Momma donkey dies. Nice.

 

#5 A Charlie Brown Christmas

“Isn’t there anyone…who can tell me…what Christmas is all about?”

This poor bald kid had the first documented case of childhood holiday depression. Relax, Chuck. It’s all about a dog saving your crummy tree, Linus’ sermon which I always tuned out, and Dolly Madison commercials.

#4 How the Grinch Stole Christmas

Stop with the Jim Carey remake already and watch the original with narration by Boris Karloff.  Yeah not too freakin’ scary.

#3 Santa Claus Is Comin’ To Town

Best line by Keenan Wynn as the deadly Winter Warlock: “Hey, maybe I’m not such a loser after all!”

 

 

#2 Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer

Cool: Island of Misfit Toys (yeah!) which is so weird yet cool that Verizon effectively uses it to slam AT&T 40 years later.

Not cool: Rudolph’s voice is the most grating sound of the holidays

 

#1 Year Without A Santa Claus

Five words: They. Call. Me. Heat. Miser.

 

 

 

 

 

****Honorable mention (not fully animated): ***
The Star Wars Holiday Special which included Wookies celebrating … something. But it did feature the whole Star Wars cast along with special guests Harvey Korman, Bea Arthur, and Jefferson Starship. I can’t make this stuff up! Hey, if you were a kid in 1978, this is why TV was invented. It was the closest thing to seeing Star Wars again in the pre-home video age.